10 Fads I'm Proud I Never Wore

1. The leggings-with-oversized-blazer look, in the '80s.
2. Acid-wash jeans. Say it with me, folks - ick.
3. Gaucho pants. I was too young for them when they first came around in the '70s, but they have come back this year. I am staying far, far away!
4. The mullet.
5. The hobo bag. I fucking hate hobo bags.
6. Head-to-toe logos. Tacky, tacky, tacky.
7. The creepy skin-colored lipstick everyone was wearing about 5-6 years ago.
8. Square-toed pumps. Why would anyone want to look shorter and fatter?
9. Argyle. I've been seeing more and more of this in the last few years. Why would anyone want to dress like a dork?
10. Ultra-lowriders. There are NO women who look good in these. If you have any shape at all, they make you look like a fat pig with lovehandles. If you have no hips, you don't look fat, but then you're just showing off that you have no hips. Also it's impossible to find underwear that doesn't show when you sit down.

.... and five fads I'm ashamed to say I did give into:
1. Platform shoes. I'm really short. They were too tempting.
2. The "Rachel" haircut. I had that for about a year and a half.
3. The overplucked eyebrow. Thankfully, they've grown back in now.
4. Blue eyeshadow. Shut up. I hate you.
5. Wearing a suit with sneakers to walk to work. No one does this any more, including myself. But I did it in the '90s. Now we all wear flip-flops to work, apparently.